The aim of this study was to explore the subjective lived experiences of foster mothers in relation to the emotional and behavioural difficulties of children placed in their care. Through in-depth semi-structured interviews, we obtained first-person accounts from eight foster mothers. The collected data were analysed using interpretative phenomenological analysis, resulting in five main themes that capture essential aspects of their lived experiences. The findings showed that dealing with children’s emotional and behavioural difficulties is a multifaceted experience that extends beyond everyday caregiving and is also reflected in foster mothers’ emotional and bodily experiences. When faced with a child’s distress, they experienced doubt, helplessness, and intense emotional involvement, often experiencing the child’s pain as their own. Behind the child’s emotional and behavioural responses, they recognised the child’s life story, past experiences, and distress, and sought to understand what the child was communicating through their behaviour. An important aspect of their experience was also the child’s sense of belonging to both the foster and biological family. Particularly when contact with the biological family was challenging, foster mothers experienced internal dilemmas between respecting the child’s connection to their biological family and wanting to protect the child. In coping with the demands of the foster care role, support from significant others and professionals, personal sources of strength, and a sense of meaning played an important role. Foster mothers also associated foster care with personal learning and growth. The findings are broadly consistent with existing research on the emotional burden experienced by foster carers, the consequences of childhood trauma, the importance of understanding the child’s life story, and the role of support in foster care. The study provides an in-depth insight into foster mothers’ first-person experiences and highlights the importance of recognising their emotional burden and providing appropriate professional support. In doing so, it may contribute to a better understanding of the foster care role and to the development of support that takes into account both the needs of children in foster care and the experiences of those who care for them on a daily basis.
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