In my Master's thesis, I researched how users of the Borderline and Narcissistic Personality Disorder – for Relatives online forum describe life with a partner suffering from borderline personality disorder. The data which I had collected allowed for a creation of a sample of online forum users who posted a record of their life experience with a partner with borderline personality disorder. Following the guidelines of grounded theory, I analyzed 92 texts. From 1163 coding units, I formed ten main categories with 36 corresponding subcategories, which were then used as a base for the development of the Experience of Partners of Persons with Borderline Personality Disorder Model. Participants describe the distress they are exposed to when living with a verbally, mentally, and physically abusive partner. They are insecure and confused because of their partner’s unstable and unpredictable behavior and are afraid of physical violence. Because of the partner’s violent behavior, participants feel powerless and are afraid of how the violence affects the children. They often experience their situation as hopeless. They experience a specter of emotions towards their partners, ranging from hatred and anger to affection. They also cite feelings of neglect and lack of support. Their coping strategies are different – some use more proactive strategies, others passive ones. By seeking information, partners learn about the disorder and experience either relief or distress. Participants persist in a relationship for several reasons: for the sake of their children, who dependend on their support and care, their hope that their partner will change, and their ambition to save the relationship and help the partner. Some participants are indecisive about staying in a relationship. Even though some are aware that persisting in a relationship full of violence is harmful, they, nevertheless, remain in its vicious circle.
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