In this article, we try to answer the question of what are the conditions for people to express distress in an emotionally supported way and seek support in terms of secure attachment to loved ones. And further, why in the Christian tradition the expression of distress and the search for support is often understood moralistically, rather than in the New Testament spirit of surrender and trust, as indicated by Luke 18: 35-43, and Luke 19: 1-10. When people in need do not feel safe enough to reveal their helplessness, and are afraid of rejection, they decline or exploit the offered help. The moralistic attitude towards human distress and the search for support represents an unreflected reaction to the aforementioned way of coping with distress. Fearing that compassion and support offered to a person in need would encourage one‘s egoism and selfishness, the moralist angrily uses his/her distress for criticism and unsolicited instruction. If, on the other hand, people have learnt from past experiences of distress that distress is a place of deep connection and closeness, they will be able to get in touch with the feelings associated with distress and accept help. Distress then presents them with an opportunity for personal, interpersonal, and spiritual growth. We suggest that people develop resilience in times of distress, when, based on a positive experience of seeking support, they also develop an increasing ability to surrender, trust and open up to the Good.
|
